Best jokes from Neil Hamburger: World's Funnyman DVD

1. Why did Madonna feed her infant baby dog food?

Well, she had no choice - that's just what came out of her breasts.

2. Why did Al-Qaeda under the direction of Mr. Osama Bin Laden burn in a public town square in Kabul, Afghanistan over 10,000 copies of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of The Moon album?

Cuz it's a terrible album.

3. Why did Paris Hilton absolutely refuse to sit on the toilet seat at Courtney Love's house?

Well, she couldn't - Courtney was already dead on it.

4. What does Sir Paul McCartney's wife, Heather Mills, have in common with The Dead Kennedys musical group?

Well, both of them only have three original members.

And the best...

5. Why did Bilbo Baggins cross the road?

To depress those of us who don't find those sorts of characters at all amusing.