The Ice Road (Jonathan Hensleigh, 2021)

As a devotee of Ice Road Truckers, I clicked "play" on this sucker almost as if it were Verhoeven's new lesbian nun extravaganza (who has a screener?!?). But the first few minutes contained some of the worst writing on Netflix. Writer/director Johnathan Hensleigh is operating at Sharknado-levels of profundity here and places such bon mots as "Kiss my Irish ass!" in tough guy Liam Neeson's mouth. Soon, though, the humans stop talking and the film settles into its generic structure with a strict deadline, evil corporate overlords, and the long odds we subscribed for - overturned trucks, trucks running out of gas, trucks stuck in ice, trucks hauling other trucks, trucks outracing an avalanche, etc. Dumb, forgettable fun. Along for the ride: Laurence Fishburne picking up a quick paycheck, a nifty country/rock soundtrack, and a rat named Skeeter with a taste for corporate blood.

Grade: B