The Bride's Initiation (aka Demon's Brew) (Duncan Stewart, 1973)

SPOILERS (if anyone could possibly care)

The Bride's Initiation features a Dracula (Marc Brock) in terrible face paint (do we want any other kind?) who subsists on sperm rather than blood. He has his chauffeur (Jack Birch, father of Thora Birch!) kidnap a newlywed couple and his assistant, a cackling witch in better makeup, collects the groom's elixir. The bride's parents (two of the oiliest individuals ever to appear in a porno) hire a detective to find the newlyweds but the detective gets kidnapped too. Dracula sees a beautiful blonde (Carol Connors) at an intersection (during the day - this Dracula is uneffected by the sun) and immediately becomes infatuated. He kidnaps her too. But the hardy-har-har ending reveals that the sperm has turned Dracula gay and he lusts after the detective who himself is gay (which we learn only at that moment). Also included: some light S&M, several $1.98 sets, and sweaty faces (you can tell this was shot in Florida).

The Bride's Initiation is a tad too linear for my taste. But it's more fun than the cranky (and bizarre - this is a melodrama??) IMDb reviews would lead you to believe. In fact, it's more linear than the reviews themselves, reminding me yet again how difficult it is to tell sustain an argument (or story). As user Hollwoodshack avers, "It's interesting that a lot of the goofy plot resembles some events in the real life marriage of Jack Birch and Carol Connors. For example, his daughter was fired from a production of Dracula because he objected to Thora getting a back rub from a cast member. The main character here in parody is Dracula, also. A change in sex preference caused by a magic formula appears here, too. Thora was given her name because the couple expected a boy." In comparison to this review, The Bride's Initiation is as tight as The Usual Suspects.

Grade: B+