Things I Love!

As with the Things I Hate, so with these deliberately frivolous items to which I much prefer the equal distribution of wealth, the end of genocide, etc.

1. Hotel toilet paper folding - I was going to use a cumbersome descriptor for this practice until I discovered there's a Wiki entry for it! I loved "toilegami" initially for the ease with which it allows you to start a roll without scraping around to find an opening. But Wiki schooled me on the now-obvious point that "the practice is meant to assure customers that their hotel room has been cleaned." The minimum amount of effort in creating of culture of care. P. S. The pic below is from the Hotel Monasterio in Peru. I long to pull up that elegant, gold-plated sticker and start wiping.

2. Cutting boards - Oh you can use these things instead of hacking away at your counter top? Huh.

3. Making sandwiches for the mister - Unlike exhausted parents, I can romanticize making lunches because it's a new activity for me. It just clears away the fog of the day by harnessing your time. If only for a brief moment, the minutes haven't fallen down a TikTok-shaped hole.

4. Bread ends - I don't get the bypassing of bread ends. They're breadier! Or, ok, crustier. But then, I don't grasp why anyone would cut the crusts off their sandwiches. You get more bang for your bread with the crust.

5. Cilantro - Can you sense I've been cooking more? If mint is that motormouth who insists on making your work meetings last forever, then cilantro is the old friend you Zoomed with last week who made you think, "Hey - I need to kick it with them more often." Cilantro has a bite without singeing your mucosa. It's so flavorful, in fact, that Chipotle should charge extra for it instead of guac (counterpoint: both should be free).

6. Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun: Rice + Probiotics (SPF50+ PA++++) - I'm in my unguent era. Let’s see here - cleanser once a day, minimal exfoliation since my gorilla ass must shave often, toner, serum, two moisturizers, and now, because my dermatologist found some actinic keratosis, possible rosacea, and various navi, I have four ointments to cram into pores. All of this beneath SPF, many varieties of which burn my eyes or leave a nasty white cast. This one is a bit pricey. But it seeps in quickly and avoids the heaviness, look, and smell of trad sunscreen.

7. Motion-sensor lights - As I slide into my AARP years, I’m still warmed by night lights. Whether a beloved oven light or a busier bubble light, they are a key component to homemaking, warning of a potential visit from Jason Voorhees and guiding you to your third pee of the evening. For a more environmentally sound alternative, though, motion-sensor lights offer all the benefits of the above without further burning the planet. And they’re perfect for tracking cats as they engage in their gangsta activities at 4am.

8. Discogs - I'm on it weekly, sometimes daily to look at album covers I've never encountered in the record store wilds or to read liners. And I love the lists such as this one detailing odd formats or this one cataloguing queer releases (this one too).

9. Internet Archive (archive.org) - The internet’s library has evolved into one of the greatest cultural services of our era. The range of materials to borrow or download is astonishing. Check out the Marion Stokes Movies, Audio & Video Collection after taking in the too-close-to-home-for-a-digital-hoarder-like-me documentary Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project (Matt Wolf, 2019). Watch a rare-as-funk film such as Palm Beach (Albie Thoms, 1978). Get your research on at the Media History Digital Library. Download over 200 Guggenheim catalogues. Listen to hundreds of underground cassettes at the Noise-Arch Archive. Here are over 70,000 zines. Visit one of my favorite sites ever, The Neglected Book Page, and then use Archive to check out one of the godforsaken novels written about there. Search for Wacky Packages and wind up at Miscellaneous Pulp Mystery! Or do none of these things for fear that Adorno will be cackling at you from the beyond. 

10.  The New York Times Games app - There are few greater feelings than arriving at “sleep” as the last item on your evening to-do list. For me, that means slowing down a day of hyper functionality with this app. I get in bed every night with the Mini, the Crossword, Spelling Bee, Wordle, Letter Boxed, and Connections and occasionally Tiles (my fervent Sudoku years are behind me). And hells yes I cheat on the crossword especially. Every sports-related clue is looked up with no guilt. And the Mr. helps me out when a corner is giving me hell. Besides didn't Kahn Jr. on King of the Hill say that's what sophisticated NYC couples do?