Planet of the Apes (Franklin J. Schaffner, 1968)

The problem with this one is easy - it's a Twilight Zone episode stretched drearily to feature length. Rod Serling wrote the original treatment and although the final screenplay passed through many hands, Planet of the Apes magnifies the worst characteristics of Serling's famed TV series, namely, a gotcha triteness skewered memorably in the Bad Twist End Theater skit from The Ben Stiller Show. For sure, the story would have more impact played out in a thirty-minute chunk or even a 90-minute one. Instead, it takes 25 minutes for Charlton Heston and company to encounter any potential antagonists, 30 minutes before the apes appear, and far too much time wasted on chases and traveling. As a good lefty in the mold of Drs. Cornelius and Zira, I applaud the critiques of racism (although, reportedly, the producers had no clue they were even in the film). But there's just not enough script here to warrant 112 minutes of screen time. Surprise: Heston's butt shots.

Grade: B-minus