Side One Great, Side Two Not 1: Steely Dan: The Royal Scam (ABC,1975)

In which I begin a series lodging complaints against albums blighted by crappy side twos. Moral: Most LPs should be EPs.

The worst album by the best English-singing band of the 1970s (assuming the New York Dolls and Chic don't count since they didn't span the entire decade and [The] Sweet don't count since they weren't an album band), The Royal Scam fits in this category with some reshuffling. I'll take a side one with the final song/title track replacing "The Fez" which, like "Green Earrings,"sounds like a b-side anyway. Almost instrumentals, they both belong exiled onto side two. "Haitian Divorce" is too damn slow and long (5:51 when the brooding, obsessive title track is only slighter long at 6:32?? Neauxp!). Plus the title doesn't scan; they needed two more syllables for it to work with the rhyme scheme. And "Everything You Did" is quite possibly the worst song they ever recorded. Even the great line about the Eagles is swallowed in a soggy falsetto. 

The first four songs, though? (chef's kiss)