All Beatles Songs Ever Graded! Albums Ranked!
These guys. I embarked on this project to confirm once and for all two things about their oeuvre: 1. Rubber Soul and Revolver are overrated. 2. It wasn't my fault that Beatles for Sale and Help! was the era most obscure to me. These are just. not. great. albums., people (or even a good one in the case of Help!). Forgettable as opposed to actively awful, they convince me that Beatles fans/scholars are out of their goddamn minds in evaluating this combo's weaknesses (if they perceive any to begin with!).
That said, albums are social constructs (singles too) (lists too), couched in sociohistorical context, and the Beatles often transcended the format. Not always in good ways, mind, and those who experienced the Fab Four's trajectory as it happened hear a different Beatles than the rest of us. But that doesn't make anyone's experience more authentic than anyone else's as Rob Sheffield's Dreaming the Beatles has taught us. So who cares that the comparatively drab Beatles for Sale failed to make an impression on me? In 2020 especially, I can extract "Eight Days a Week" for a playlist and move on.
And then conclude, goddamn, they really were incredible! I think there's enough here to demonstrate I have as level a head as anyone with respect to their oeuvre. My takes are what they are on this day of fools. I can't tell if I'm overrating or underrating their early covers which may make me a closet rockist. “You Won't See Me” slooooows down too damn much. “Here, There And Everywhere” is supposed to be lifting; I just hear a leaf fall to the ground. “I Am The Walrus” and “Strawberry Fields Forever” might receive A-pluses tomorrow. The Beatles (White Album) is indeed a whole that transcends the sum of its parts. But as my pal Lucas Fagen so succinctly put it, that’s only because so many parts suck. "Revolution 9" comes easy to this Yoko Ono/Creel Pone fan and it's always legit scared me. I forgot how hard "Helter Skelter" bashes. Savage. How bad could "Wild Honey Pie" possibly be? It's not even a minute long! That eternal sap McCartney can reduce me to a blubbering pile even at his sappiest. I shall never forget "Golden Slumbers" and "Carry That Wright" stopping me cold in a late-1980s dorm room. I cannot stand Harrison's whine. Etc.
I combined Past Masters and Mono Masters which subsumes the Yellow Submarine tracks. I didn't rank Past/Mono Masters but it'd fall somewhere around #5. And no, I won't be ranking any bootlegs, anthologies, BBC performances, live albums, etc. I'm Beatled out. Now on to the Stones who are already getting deeper under my skin.
“I Saw Her Standing There” - A
“Misery” - A
“Anna (Go to Him)” - A-minus
“Chains” - B
“Boys” - A-minus
“Ask Me Why” - B
“Please Please Me” - A-plus
“Love Me Do” - B
“P.S. I Love You” - B-minus
“Baby It's You” - B
“Do You Want To Know A Secret” - A-minus
“A Taste of Honey” - B-minus
“There's A Place” - A
“Twist and Shout” - A
Please Please Me - A-minus
“It Won't Be Long” - A
“All I've Got To Do” - B-plus
“All My Loving” - A-plus
“Don't Bother Me” - B-plus
“Little Child” - A-minus
“Till There Was You” - C-plus
“Please Mr. Postman” - A
“Roll Over Beethoven” - A
“Hold Me Tight” - A
“You Really Got A Hold On Me” - A
“I Wanna Be Your Man” - A
“Devil In Her Heart” - A-minus
“Not A Second Time” - B-plus
“Money (That's What I Want)” - A
With the Beatles - A-minus
“A Hard Day's Night” - A-plus
“I Should Have Known Better” - A-plus
“If I Fell” - A
“I'm Happy Just To Dance With You” - A-minus
“And I Love Her” - A
“Tell Me Why” - A
“Can't Buy Me Love” - A-minus
“Any Time At All” - A-minus
“I'll Cry Instead” - A-minus
“Things We Said Today” - A
“When I Get Home” - A
“You Can't Do That” - A-plus
“I'll Be Back” - A
A Hard Day’s Night - A
“No Reply” – A
“I’m a Loser” – A
“Baby’s in Black” – A-minus
“Rock n Roll Music” – A
“I’ll Follow the Sun” – A-minus
“Mr. Moonlight” – B-plus
“Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey” – B
“Eight Days a Week” – A-plus
“Words of Love” – C
“Honey Don’t” – C
“Every Little Thing” – B-plus
“I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party” – A-minus
“What You’re Doing” – A-minus
“Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby” – C
Beatles for Sale - B-plus
“Help!” - A
“The Night Before” - B-plus
“You've Got To Hide Your Love Away” - A
“I Need You” - B
“Another Girl” - B-minus
“You're Going To Lose That Girl” - A-minus
“Ticket To Ride” - A
“Act Naturally” - B
“It's Only Love” - B-minus
“You Like Me Too Much” - C-plus
“Tell Me What You See” - B-minus
“I've Just Seen A Face” - A-minus
“Yesterday” - A-minus
“Dizzy Miss Lizzy” - B
Help! - B
“Drive My Car” - A
“Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)” - A
“You Won't See Me” - A-minus
“Nowhere Man” - A
“Think For Yourself” - A-minus
“The Word” - A-plus
“Michelle” - B
“What Goes On” - B-minus
“Girl” - A
“I'm Looking Through You” - B-plus
“In My Life” - A
“Wait” - B-plus
“If I Needed Someone” - B-plus
“Run For Your Life” - B-plus
Rubber Soul - A-minus
“Taxman” - A
“Eleanor Rigby” - A
“I'm Only Sleeping” - A-minus
“Love You To” - B-plus
“Here, There And Everywhere” - B
“Yellow Submarine” - C-plus
“She Said She Said” - A-minus
“Good Day Sunshine” - C-plus
“And Your Bird Can Sing” - A-plus
“For No One” - A-minus
“Doctor Robert” - A-minus
“I Want To Tell You” - A-minus
“Got To Get You Into My Life” - B-plus
“Tomorrow Never Knows” - A-plus
Revolver - A-minus
“Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band” - A-minus
“With A Little Help From My Friends” - A
“Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” - A
“Getting Better” - A
“Fixing A Hole” - A
“She's Leaving Home” - A-plus
“Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!” - A-minus
“Within You Without You” - B-plus
“When I'm Sixty-Four” - B-plus
"Lovely Rita” - A-minus
“Good Morning Good Morning” - A-minus
“Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)” - A
“A Day In The Life” - A-plus
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - A
“Magical Mystery Tour” - A-minus
“The Fool On The Hill” - B-minus
“Flying” - B-plus
“Blue Jay Way” - A
“Your Mother Should Know” - B
“I Am The Walrus” - A
“Hello Goodbye” - A
“Strawberry Fields Forever” - A
“Penny Lane” - A
“Baby You're A Rich Man” - A-minus
“All You Need Is Love” - A
Magical Mystery Tour - A-minus
“Back in the U.S.S.R.” - A
“Dear Prudence” - A
“Glass Onion” - A
“Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” - B
“Wild Honey Pie” - A-plus
“The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” - A
“While My Guitar Gently Weeps” - A-minus
“Happiness is a Warm Gun” - A-plus
“Martha My Dear” - A
“I’m so tired” - A
“Blackbird” - B
“Piggies” - B
“Rocky Raccoon” - B
“Don’t Pass Me By” - B
“Why don’t we do it in the road?” - B
“I Will” - A-minus
“Julia” - A-minus
“Birthday” - A
“Yer Blues” - A-minus
“Mother Nature’s Son” - B
“Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” - A
“Sexy Sadie” - A-minus
“Helter Skelter” - A-plus
“Long, Long, Long” - C-plus
“Revolution I” - B-plus
“Honey Pie” - B
“Savoy Truffle” - A
“Cry Baby Cry” - B-plus
“Revolution 9” - A
“Good Night” - A-minus
The Beatles - A-minus
“Come Together” - A
“Something” - A-minus
“Maxwell's Silver Hammer” - F
“Oh! Darling” - B
“Octopus's Garden” - A-minus
“I Want You (She's So Heavy)” - A
“Here Comes The Sun” - A
“Because” - A-plus
“You Never Give Me Your Money” - A
“Sun King” - A-minus
“Mean Mr. Mustard” - A-minus
“Polythene Pam” - A-minus
“She Came In Through The Bathroom Window” - A-minus
“Golden Slumbers” - A-plus
“Carry That Weight” - A-plus
“The End” - A-plus
“Her Majesty” - A
Abbey Road - A
“Two Of Us” - A
“Dig a Pony” - B-plus
“Across the Universe” - B
“I Me Mine” - B
“Dig It” - A-minus
“Let It Be” - B-plus
“Maggie Mae” - B
“I've Got A Feeling” - B-plus
“One After 909” - B-plus
“The Long and Winding Road” - C-plus
“For Your Blue” - B
“Get Back” - B-plus
Let It Be - B-plus
“Love Me Do [Single Version]” - B
“From Me To You” - A
“Thank You Girl” - A
“She Loves You” - A-plus
“I'll Get You” - A-minus
“I Want To Hold Your Hand” - A-plus
“This Boy” - B
“Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand” - A
“Sie Leibt Dich” - A
“Long Tall Sally” - A-minus
“I Call Your Name” - A
“Slow Down” - A-minus
“Matchbox” - B-plus
“I Feel Fine” - A-minus
“She's a Woman” - A-minus
"Bad Boy” - A
“Yes It Is” - B-plus
“I'm Down” - A-minus
“Day Tripper” - A
“We Can Work It Out” - A
“Paperback Writer” - A-plus
“Rain” - A-plus
“Lady Madonna” - A
“The Inner Light” - A-minus
“Hey Jude” - A
“Revolution” - A
“Only A Northern Song” - B-plus
“All Together Now” - C-plus
“Hey Bulldog” - A-minus
“It's All Too Much” - B-plus
Get Back” - B-plus
“Don’t Let Me Down” - A
“The Ballad of John and Yoko” - A-minus
“Old Brown Shoe” - B-plus
“Across the Universe” - B
“Let It Be” - B-plus
“You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)” - B
Past/Mono Masters - A-minus
Best albums:
1. A Hard Day’s Night
2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
3. Abbey Road
4. The Beatles
5. Magical Mystery Tour
6. With the Beatles
7. Revolver
8. Please Please Me
9. Rubber Soul
10. Beatles for Sale
11. Let It Be
12. Help!
That said, albums are social constructs (singles too) (lists too), couched in sociohistorical context, and the Beatles often transcended the format. Not always in good ways, mind, and those who experienced the Fab Four's trajectory as it happened hear a different Beatles than the rest of us. But that doesn't make anyone's experience more authentic than anyone else's as Rob Sheffield's Dreaming the Beatles has taught us. So who cares that the comparatively drab Beatles for Sale failed to make an impression on me? In 2020 especially, I can extract "Eight Days a Week" for a playlist and move on.
And then conclude, goddamn, they really were incredible! I think there's enough here to demonstrate I have as level a head as anyone with respect to their oeuvre. My takes are what they are on this day of fools. I can't tell if I'm overrating or underrating their early covers which may make me a closet rockist. “You Won't See Me” slooooows down too damn much. “Here, There And Everywhere” is supposed to be lifting; I just hear a leaf fall to the ground. “I Am The Walrus” and “Strawberry Fields Forever” might receive A-pluses tomorrow. The Beatles (White Album) is indeed a whole that transcends the sum of its parts. But as my pal Lucas Fagen so succinctly put it, that’s only because so many parts suck. "Revolution 9" comes easy to this Yoko Ono/Creel Pone fan and it's always legit scared me. I forgot how hard "Helter Skelter" bashes. Savage. How bad could "Wild Honey Pie" possibly be? It's not even a minute long! That eternal sap McCartney can reduce me to a blubbering pile even at his sappiest. I shall never forget "Golden Slumbers" and "Carry That Wright" stopping me cold in a late-1980s dorm room. I cannot stand Harrison's whine. Etc.
I combined Past Masters and Mono Masters which subsumes the Yellow Submarine tracks. I didn't rank Past/Mono Masters but it'd fall somewhere around #5. And no, I won't be ranking any bootlegs, anthologies, BBC performances, live albums, etc. I'm Beatled out. Now on to the Stones who are already getting deeper under my skin.
“I Saw Her Standing There” - A
“Misery” - A
“Anna (Go to Him)” - A-minus
“Chains” - B
“Boys” - A-minus
“Ask Me Why” - B
“Please Please Me” - A-plus
“Love Me Do” - B
“P.S. I Love You” - B-minus
“Baby It's You” - B
“Do You Want To Know A Secret” - A-minus
“A Taste of Honey” - B-minus
“There's A Place” - A
“Twist and Shout” - A
Please Please Me - A-minus
“It Won't Be Long” - A
“All I've Got To Do” - B-plus
“All My Loving” - A-plus
“Don't Bother Me” - B-plus
“Little Child” - A-minus
“Till There Was You” - C-plus
“Please Mr. Postman” - A
“Roll Over Beethoven” - A
“Hold Me Tight” - A
“You Really Got A Hold On Me” - A
“I Wanna Be Your Man” - A
“Devil In Her Heart” - A-minus
“Not A Second Time” - B-plus
“Money (That's What I Want)” - A
With the Beatles - A-minus
“A Hard Day's Night” - A-plus
“I Should Have Known Better” - A-plus
“If I Fell” - A
“I'm Happy Just To Dance With You” - A-minus
“And I Love Her” - A
“Tell Me Why” - A
“Can't Buy Me Love” - A-minus
“Any Time At All” - A-minus
“I'll Cry Instead” - A-minus
“Things We Said Today” - A
“When I Get Home” - A
“You Can't Do That” - A-plus
“I'll Be Back” - A
A Hard Day’s Night - A
“No Reply” – A
“I’m a Loser” – A
“Baby’s in Black” – A-minus
“Rock n Roll Music” – A
“I’ll Follow the Sun” – A-minus
“Mr. Moonlight” – B-plus
“Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey” – B
“Eight Days a Week” – A-plus
“Words of Love” – C
“Honey Don’t” – C
“Every Little Thing” – B-plus
“I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party” – A-minus
“What You’re Doing” – A-minus
“Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby” – C
Beatles for Sale - B-plus
“Help!” - A
“The Night Before” - B-plus
“You've Got To Hide Your Love Away” - A
“I Need You” - B
“Another Girl” - B-minus
“You're Going To Lose That Girl” - A-minus
“Ticket To Ride” - A
“Act Naturally” - B
“It's Only Love” - B-minus
“You Like Me Too Much” - C-plus
“Tell Me What You See” - B-minus
“I've Just Seen A Face” - A-minus
“Yesterday” - A-minus
“Dizzy Miss Lizzy” - B
Help! - B
“Drive My Car” - A
“Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)” - A
“You Won't See Me” - A-minus
“Nowhere Man” - A
“Think For Yourself” - A-minus
“The Word” - A-plus
“Michelle” - B
“What Goes On” - B-minus
“Girl” - A
“I'm Looking Through You” - B-plus
“In My Life” - A
“Wait” - B-plus
“If I Needed Someone” - B-plus
“Run For Your Life” - B-plus
Rubber Soul - A-minus
“Taxman” - A
“Eleanor Rigby” - A
“I'm Only Sleeping” - A-minus
“Love You To” - B-plus
“Here, There And Everywhere” - B
“Yellow Submarine” - C-plus
“She Said She Said” - A-minus
“Good Day Sunshine” - C-plus
“And Your Bird Can Sing” - A-plus
“For No One” - A-minus
“Doctor Robert” - A-minus
“I Want To Tell You” - A-minus
“Got To Get You Into My Life” - B-plus
“Tomorrow Never Knows” - A-plus
Revolver - A-minus
“Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band” - A-minus
“With A Little Help From My Friends” - A
“Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” - A
“Getting Better” - A
“Fixing A Hole” - A
“She's Leaving Home” - A-plus
“Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!” - A-minus
“Within You Without You” - B-plus
“When I'm Sixty-Four” - B-plus
"Lovely Rita” - A-minus
“Good Morning Good Morning” - A-minus
“Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)” - A
“A Day In The Life” - A-plus
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - A
“Magical Mystery Tour” - A-minus
“The Fool On The Hill” - B-minus
“Flying” - B-plus
“Blue Jay Way” - A
“Your Mother Should Know” - B
“I Am The Walrus” - A
“Hello Goodbye” - A
“Strawberry Fields Forever” - A
“Penny Lane” - A
“Baby You're A Rich Man” - A-minus
“All You Need Is Love” - A
Magical Mystery Tour - A-minus
“Back in the U.S.S.R.” - A
“Dear Prudence” - A
“Glass Onion” - A
“Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” - B
“Wild Honey Pie” - A-plus
“The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” - A
“While My Guitar Gently Weeps” - A-minus
“Happiness is a Warm Gun” - A-plus
“Martha My Dear” - A
“I’m so tired” - A
“Blackbird” - B
“Piggies” - B
“Rocky Raccoon” - B
“Don’t Pass Me By” - B
“Why don’t we do it in the road?” - B
“I Will” - A-minus
“Julia” - A-minus
“Birthday” - A
“Yer Blues” - A-minus
“Mother Nature’s Son” - B
“Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” - A
“Sexy Sadie” - A-minus
“Helter Skelter” - A-plus
“Long, Long, Long” - C-plus
“Revolution I” - B-plus
“Honey Pie” - B
“Savoy Truffle” - A
“Cry Baby Cry” - B-plus
“Revolution 9” - A
“Good Night” - A-minus
The Beatles - A-minus
“Come Together” - A
“Something” - A-minus
“Maxwell's Silver Hammer” - F
“Oh! Darling” - B
“Octopus's Garden” - A-minus
“I Want You (She's So Heavy)” - A
“Here Comes The Sun” - A
“Because” - A-plus
“You Never Give Me Your Money” - A
“Sun King” - A-minus
“Mean Mr. Mustard” - A-minus
“Polythene Pam” - A-minus
“She Came In Through The Bathroom Window” - A-minus
“Golden Slumbers” - A-plus
“Carry That Weight” - A-plus
“The End” - A-plus
“Her Majesty” - A
Abbey Road - A
“Two Of Us” - A
“Dig a Pony” - B-plus
“Across the Universe” - B
“I Me Mine” - B
“Dig It” - A-minus
“Let It Be” - B-plus
“Maggie Mae” - B
“I've Got A Feeling” - B-plus
“One After 909” - B-plus
“The Long and Winding Road” - C-plus
“For Your Blue” - B
“Get Back” - B-plus
Let It Be - B-plus
“Love Me Do [Single Version]” - B
“From Me To You” - A
“Thank You Girl” - A
“She Loves You” - A-plus
“I'll Get You” - A-minus
“I Want To Hold Your Hand” - A-plus
“This Boy” - B
“Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand” - A
“Sie Leibt Dich” - A
“Long Tall Sally” - A-minus
“I Call Your Name” - A
“Slow Down” - A-minus
“Matchbox” - B-plus
“I Feel Fine” - A-minus
“She's a Woman” - A-minus
"Bad Boy” - A
“Yes It Is” - B-plus
“I'm Down” - A-minus
“Day Tripper” - A
“We Can Work It Out” - A
“Paperback Writer” - A-plus
“Rain” - A-plus
“Lady Madonna” - A
“The Inner Light” - A-minus
“Hey Jude” - A
“Revolution” - A
“Only A Northern Song” - B-plus
“All Together Now” - C-plus
“Hey Bulldog” - A-minus
“It's All Too Much” - B-plus
Get Back” - B-plus
“Don’t Let Me Down” - A
“The Ballad of John and Yoko” - A-minus
“Old Brown Shoe” - B-plus
“Across the Universe” - B
“Let It Be” - B-plus
“You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)” - B
Past/Mono Masters - A-minus
Best albums:
1. A Hard Day’s Night
2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
3. Abbey Road
4. The Beatles
5. Magical Mystery Tour
6. With the Beatles
7. Revolver
8. Please Please Me
9. Rubber Soul
10. Beatles for Sale
11. Let It Be
12. Help!
Labels: The Beatles
posted by Kevin John at 10:13 AM
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